Chapter 1

I don’t want to wake up, it’s my birthday and I thought by now I’d be successful. But well life has other plans and sadly they don’t match with mine.

My phone pings there’s a new text.

Baba: Happy Birthday my princess. Hope you’ll continue making me proud. Love you always.

When I’m about to reply I receive another text from an unsaved number. I hope it’s Zweli.

Unsaved number: Happy Birthday. I hope you’ll have an amazing day Mom.

Did Nonhle have to say mom? My phone pings again when I’m about to put it on the bedside table, I bought yesterday.

Sizwe: Happy Birthday dearest. May you grow wiser and stronger. I hope you’re okay.

This puts a smile on my face. I reply to both my dad and Sizwe. I won’t reply to Nonhle’s text. I look at the time it’s 2am. I haven’t slept well in 2 days. And I’ve been tossing and turning for the past 8 hours makes me wish I had a TV.

I must’ve fallen asleep because I’m waken up by an incoming call. It’s Mpumelelo.

“Hello” I answer sleepy.

“Birthday girl you’re still sleeping at 12pm?”

“My eyes fly open and I look at the time from the watch just above one of the couches. My God.

“I haven’t slept in days. I’m exhausted”

“We are taking you out”

“We?”

Yes, me, mom and Sizwe”

“Oh” and we are silent for some time. I was hoping that Zweli would come with.

“We’ll be there in 30 minutes”

“Okay no problem” we hang up. I honestly don’t want to go out especially with Zweli’s family but I have no choice. 30 minutes later I’m sitting outside the door and a red Range Rover stops and then Sizwe tells me it’s time to go. I get in the car and I’m greeted by a hug and they all sing so beautifully which almost has me in tears. We travel to some park and then Mpumelelo and Sizwe carry baskets, blankets and presents. We walk for about 5 minutes we find a perfect spot by some lake. We sit down and we chit chat and then time for presents. I can hardly wait. I open the first present it’s from Mrs. Khumalo. She bought me a beautiful knee length yellow dress. I hug her. I don’t have many dresses and soon I’ll be working. Never been in an office environment before but I’m looking forward to it. Another present is from Mpumelelo, he bought me Spa ticket plus a gift card from Woolworths and a laptop. Just what I needed. And the last present is from Sizwe and Anthony, I smile at the thought of them going to buy me a present. I open the box and I see a long rectangular box. There’s a necklace and bracelet with pearls and diamonds. These are the best gifts. I can’t help but cry. I hug them until they complain that they can’t breathe.

We sit until it gets dark. We all don’t want to leave but we have to. The thought of going to that back room alone makes me sad. I get home after 8pm and I see missed calls from some of the family members and a text from Momo. I call everyone back. I talk longer with my grandma. After hanging up I read Momo’s text.

Momo: Happy Birthday my little princess. I can’t believe you have grown so much. I am so proud of you and thank you for accepting me in your life. Love you always.

I read the text and I smile. I reply once again saying thank you for choosing us and that I also love her.

I’m sleeping when my phone rings at 10pm, it’s Melo and I’m not in the mood to talk to him so I just switch my phone off. I just had an amazing day I don’t want them spoiling it.

I'm brought back to the presence by my ringing phone. It's my dad.

"Yebo baba"

"Nkosazana how are you doing?"

"I'm okay. But you don't sound okay"

"It's Momo's ex-husband. She's still legally married to him and he won't sign the divorce papers" he sighs.

"I didn't know Momo was married"

"That was 26 years ago and they separated within a year".

I tell him I'll ask someone for him. Sidingo works part time at some law firm maybe she can ask a colleague for me. But the problem is that I don't have Sidingo's digits. I try calling Zweli he's not picking up. He'll have to forgive me but I need those digits and I'd rather go to Zweli's house than Ayanda's house. I take a bath then I take a taxi by the gate. An hour later I'm walking inside Zweli's house. I was scared the guards wouldn't let me in. I run up the steps and I open his door without knocking it's not like I've never seen him naked and right now getting those digits is more important. I didn't think this through.

I find him in bed with some girl. The girl quickly pushes him off her. I stay rooted at the door. God I'm so stupid. When he looks at me I see regret but the emotion is quickly wiped off his face makes me thinks I had imagined it.

"What are you doing here?" He shouts. This is the first time I hear him raising his voice. I feel tears in my eyes and I run towards the steps and out of his house to the street. The guards are looking at me with pity. I'm so stupid my God.

I'm walking to the taxi route when my phone rings I’m too scared to answer the call from an unsaved number. I let it go to voicemail. And then it pings it's a text. Unsaved number: Hey u must b busy. This is my number. I hope u gud. Sidingo. When I'm about to reply the phone pings again. It's Momo

Momo: Hey dear. My ex-husband decided to sign the papers. I hope you're okay. I reply telling her that I'm happy he agreed.

I take a taxi back to my back room and I find Ayanda sitting at the door. I turn back thinking he didn't see me.

"I'm not stupid or blind"

"Oh I didn't see you there"

"Like I said I'm not stupid" he replies. "What were you doing at my house?" I tell him what my dad told me.

"And you thought you could just walk in my house without my permission?"

"I was desperate. I am so sorry"

"Next time I'll hurt you" he tells me and walks away. I quickly unlock the door and lock it once I’m inside.

As if seeing Zweli and his new gf in bed was not enough. They walked in an hour earlier. I didn't want to come here but Zweli's brothers and mom begged me so I finally gave in. Anthony is also here and Mpumelelo is here with his gf or date. Seeing Zweli and his floozy doesn't hurt. What hurts the most is how their mom is acting right now. I thought I was the daughter-in-law but she has been ignoring me like I'm not here when she's one who invited me here. I wanted to leave but the brothers begged me not to. There's a buffet and these people hardly eat. All the food will go to waste. When it's time to eat everyone dishes a small portion of food but I don't. I'm too hungry.

"Don't you have food where you stay?" Zweli's floozy asks me. I ignore her. I continue eating.

"Zweli talk to your gf" Sizwe warns.

"I'll leave. Thank you for inviting me"

"Yes please leave" Mrs. Khumalo replies.

"No. She's not leaving" Mpumelelelo and Sizwe say unison. I take my bag by my feet, stand up and leave. The brothers follow me except the one I would’ve wanted to follow me. I'm so heartbroken. I can't hold back the tears any longer I cry and Sizwe stops the car and they both get off. Sizwe hugs me trying to consoling me but I cry even harder and then Mpumelelo pulls me towards him and they keep saying sorry. Once I stop crying we get in the car and we head to my back room. I let them in and we sit in silence. I can tell they want to talk but they stop once they open their mouths.

"Can I ask you something" Sizwe finally speaks.

"Shoot"

"How did my brother convince you to marry him?" If he asked me this weeks ago I was going to lie because I was starting to be happy but now I'm so mad at Zweli. I tell them how I agreed to marry him. When I tell them about Bonga they don't even flinch. Maybe they knew.

"You knew?"

"Nope. But knowing Zweli that's what he'll do" Sizwe replies looking at his hands.

"And how did you lose the baby and what really happened the last time we find you at the hospital?" I go mute. I shared too much I look at my hands.

"You can trust us" Sizwe tells me rubbing my back and then my shoulders shake and once again. Twice within an hour I can't hold back the tears. I tell them everything through the tears. And when I look up I see tears in Sizwe's eyes and then he hugs me so tight. And we just sit and they change the topic I'm thankful. I've shared so much for today. I must've fallen asleep because when I wake up. The boys are cooking. I'd kill for brothers like that. I remember that I also have brothers but oh well they won't talk to me. I open the door to go out when I see a package at my door step. The wrapper looks like the one I used to wrap Mrs. Khumalo's present. My heart sinks I take in and then I go to the nearest mall and it's so full. Festive is approaching parents are already buying clothes for their kids. I'm sitting at Spur eating my burger and minding my business when I hear some guy saying

"You're acting bitchie lately and I'm not sure I want to be friends with you anymore. First it was Zweli's wife and now Bova's gf?" He comments sounding angry. But I continue eating my meal when I hear another guy talking.

"You've changed. You look down on people. You weren't like that" comments the guy. Well she's been bitchie. I eat in silence I pay my bill and leave. I'm walking towards the entrance when I see Mrs. Khumalo and Zweli's gf being the person that I am I greet her but she just pass like she didn't hear me. Well at least I tried. I think I'll go home for the next 2 weeks. I'm packing when my phone rings it's Mpumelelo.

"Hello"

"Hey. It's Mpumelelo. I've been meaning to ask you but you were applying for editing jobs. If it's okay with you. Can you kindly help me at the practice...."

"I'd love that" I reply. "When can I start?"

"Tomorrow"

"Okay no problem. I was packing but I guess I need the money"

"You should've told us"

"Nah. I prefer working for my money". I hang up with a smile on my face. I'm just happy I'll have something to do before January. And maybe I can move to a flat before I start at work. I put back the clothes I forgot to ask what time I'm expected there. I send him a text he tells me to be ready at 8am he open at 9am.

At 8am Mpumelelo knocks my door. I'm wearing all black. We walk out to his black GLE 35Pd Mercedes Benz. I love this car. Sizwe is also here and they are unusually quiet throughout the 15 minutes’ drive. I have a feeling they feel bad about what their brother did and I'm not mad at them. He trains me for the remaining 40 minutes. I hope I won't mess up even though he'll be paying me. He's still doing me a favour. The week goes by very quick. Before I know it it's Friday and I work from Monday to Friday. Sizwe told me I'm getting paid today and I wonder how much he'll be paying me. I'm going home today. As soon as I knock off I'm taking a bus home and luckily I knock off at 12 today. The practice closes at 12:30.

"We are also going to Joburg. We can drop you off at home" Sizwe tells me. I know they are lying. And I hate the fact that they pity me.

"No. You're not". My phone pings. Mpumelelo paid me R5 000. Which pisses me off.

"Look guys no need to lie" I look at Sizwe. "And no need to pay me that much" I tell Mpumelelo. I leave they follow me.

"You paid me more than I deserve. So I'll take a bus home. Don't fetch me on Monday. I'll come here from the depot. Enjoy your weekend" I tell them and stand in the taxi queue just outside the medical centre which is next to a shopping centre. Buses are full except for Intercity. I don't like the bus but I don't have a choice. I call my dad to tell him that I'm heading home and I ask him to come fetch me at Parktown Station. I sleep throughout the journey. It's been a long week. I'm waken up by the bus driver he tells me that I need to get off he wants to go sleep. I walk out to call my dad and I bump into him and Momo. I'm so happy to see them.

"You look thin. Is that boy not treating you right?"

"Might be going back to my maiden name soon" I tell him and he frowns. Not the answer he expected but he doesn't say anything else.

I spend the weekend at home with my dad and Momo and they don't bring the maiden name thing up but I can see that they are curious but too scared to ask anything. I hate to leave but I have to. I travel all night and I get to the depot at 7am. I take a taxi to the practice. I get there 20 minutes later I find the boys sitting in the office and Zweli is with them. They are arguing about something when they see me they go mute. I greet them and I walk to the bathroom to freshen up since I couldn't go home to bath.

"No. I won't" I hear Mpumelelo's voice and then Zweli's gf walks in with his mom. They just sit as if they don’t see me I also ignore them.